how its gotta be

I honestly didn't think that I would be so upset. A whole year ending didn't do it like this, and those that came before barely scratched the surface. I got myself wrapped up in the best possible situation at the worst possible time, and now I'll have to spend the rest of the year trying to forget. That's impossible of course, but now I have a brand new standard. It makes me wonder if anyone else will really measure up. We'll see where the wind takes me this year, or maybe for the next few years. That's another thing that really bothers me now...the concept of when. When will the right time appear, fall into my lap, peep around the corner? Will I be young or old? Will it happen on purpose or purely by chance? I know I can't force it, as much as I want to. So that's that, I am left to do the thing I don't think most people my age are designed to do. Wait.